Avery gay fanfic about Sparkly OTAKU VAMPIRES AND KINGDOM HEARTS (PART ONE)

**Ghost of Mayfield Lodge** Thu 29 Apr 2010, 10:23 pm

JUST KIDDING, YOU nOObie bOObies! Actually, this fanfic is called Hocotate Heroes Part 1: The Administrator Springs into some Dramatic Action to Save a Kitty from the Sinister Maple Sapling of Doomy Doom! Hocotate Heroes is a multipart series featuring actual people from this website. This story is written in a spoofing manner and is meant to ridicule the 11 year olds who write obnoxious fanfics about Xaldin and Xemnes, and those other freaks with blue hair. This first installment only features the administrator of hocotate freight but the next installment is going to feature many, many other members from this website's past, present, and future.

Forgive me because this is the 1st time I have written a geeky fanfic about my heroes. So please enjoy this work of non-fiction written by a Ghost who haunts the Lodge in Mayfield.

“mew... mew...”

"Awwwww" whined a bespectacled school girl with braids and a very low skirt, "My POOR Super Neko Goku Chan! He's mewing and trapped atop the tallest maple sappling in all of northern Ohio!"
Super Neko Goku Chan was a kitten who had recently been purchased at Petco by this school girl and her family. Upon being named Super Neko Goku Chan, the kitten escaped from his cruel captors and bolted up the nearest tree to commit suicide but he was having second thoughts. "mew-hooo!" he sobbed.
As pandemonium befell this particular street corner, the phone in a secret briefcase went off. This briefcase belonged to the ONE MORTAL MAN who could prevent this confused kitten from jumping 500 feet (FUN FACT: The trees in Ohio are RLLY RLLY TALL BTW) and perishing in a horrible gorey suicide. This manly man was simply named ADMINISTRATOR. (and yes, his parents were a chat room and forum, just clearing that up.) So when the phone rang in the secret briefcase, a strong masculine hand with a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers wristwatch and a rubber Five Below animal bracelet, GRABBED IT! He then answered in a deep, calmly assured voice:
"Wut u want wil kiddie? I be playin MUGEN da breast game da world! Wut? ur paying me 500 pennies to save ur kitty cat?! derr I be rich! HOLD ON, IMA CUMING AT DA MOMENT!" (and yes he was busy jacking off to a picture of Chiyo Chan X Pikachu porn at that moment.)

So boldly springing into action, he planned on making a highly fantasmic, highly fantastic entrance to travel to this ongoing scene! The admin ran all the way to the nearest supermarket in Ohio. (In this case, it was a Walmart because that's the only shopping center that hicks IN Ohio will shop at.) The manly hero hit up Wally World for some Aunt Jemima syrup and Kaiser brand tin foil and a pair of blunt scissors. He then ran around the back entrance to see if he could find some big unusused cardboard boxes. Once he gathered all of these items, he ran into the parking lot of Walmart and hid between a pair of customized trucks where no one was looking! It was there he used the cardboard to cut out some really, really nice wings and covered them in tin foil. Then he took those "WINGS" and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth.

Most people make telephone calls in a telephone booth but not... THE ADMINISTRATOR! The admin pulled down his blue denim policeman type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of AUNT JEMIMA maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! Soon the telephone booth was filling with multitudes and multitudes of flies coming to taste the sweet sensation. He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his pants, and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, James Earl Jones-type voice: "Take me to the 500 foot tree on Drury Lane!"

Defying all reason and gravity, the flies soon propelled the booth and everything in it, out of the parking lot and into the sky! Godspeed admin and his flies! Hopefully you will save the kitten and his pride!

...so that was my fanfic. Feel free to leave comments or ratings. I was going to submit this story on fanfiction.com but it doesnt feature any characters with Kingdom Hearts Nobody (TM) names so they didnt allow me. Sad